As a mum there is no such thing as a day off. You can't just call in sick one day - the kids still need you. So when you feel sick, or just down right exhausted, all you can do is dig down deep and find some kind of reserve of strength and keep pushing through.
And that's ok if you just have to push through that one day, but what if every day is an uphill struggle and you are continuously pushing yourself to your limits? That is where I found myself several weeks ago, in the middle of a week where hubby worked far too many hours and I tried to stretch myself way too thin and please too many people. Instead of asking for help I just tried to grit my teeth and keep going cos that's what mum's do, right? Part way through the week I reached my limit and my body told me in no uncertain terms that I had pushed things waaaaaay too far!
As mum's we love to talk about the cute things our little darlings have done, the funny things they said, their achievements, all the high points of parenting. It's great to share and celebrate those things together but I don't think it's very helpful if that's all we ever talk about.
How often do we talk about the low points - dragging a screaming toddler down the street as they have a tantrum, screaming "shut up" at your crying newborn cos the sleep deprivation has got the better of you, losing your cool and smacking your child, caving in and resorting to bribery and doing all kinds of things you swore you would never do?
I love my kids and we have so many great moments together but there are some days (many days!) when I find myself counting down the hours until bedtime. I wish that wasn't the case but, instead of allowing myself to feel guilty over that fact, I've just come to accept that is the season we're in right now.
As a mum it's so easy to carry around feelings of guilt that we don't always enjoy our kids, shame at our failings and feelings of inadequacy as we compare ourselves with others.
I often look at other mum's and think "how do they do it?" - they seem to have it all together and make it look effortless. But then I thought to myself, I wonder if others view me that way too? I think in reality we are all a bit like ducks - calm on the surface but paddling frantically unseen by others.
As mum's we are used to having to put on a brave face and just keep going - a bit too used to it. I think it's unhelpful and puts undue pressure on all of us to attain some kind of superwoman standard.
So I'm pledging to be more real and honest about my parenting experience. Sure, I'll still share stories of the good times and the cute things, but I'm going to stop holding back about the tough times. I hope by sharing my struggles it will give others the courage to share theirs too and that we will stop putting so much pressure on ourselves and others.
One of the best pieces of advice I've been given since having my second child is to accept help - ask for it even. It's ok to admit you can't do it alone! I've found it so humbling and character building to accept help and admit I can't do it all and it's brought me closer to people as I have opened up or reached out for help.
Isn't it great how God uses the challenges of life to help us grow in both character and relationship with Him and others?
And finally friends, remember:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
Awesome stacey!
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