Mamas Diary - Day 1

I was just reading a great article about journaling as a spiritual discipline and was particularly struck by these words:

"Keeping a journal can be greatly beneficial in ripening our joy along the journey. There is always more going on in us and around than we can appreciate at the time. Journaling is a way of slowing life down for just a few moments, and trying to process at least a sliver of it for the glory of God, our own growth and development, and our enjoyment of the details."

Let's be honest, I'm not massively enjoying pregnancy second time around and there are days where parenting feels like an endurance test rather than a joy. As a mama, often running around like a headless chicken and trying to do several things at once, it's hard to make time for yourself and time to reflect but I know I'll be better for it (and a better mama to my kids) if I make that time. I don't want these precious moments with my kids to pass by and be forgotten, I want to make time to enjoy the details.

So here goes....what details have I enjoyed the last few days?

At first thought it's easier to think of what I haven't enjoyed! I didn't enjoy endless hours of waddling around chasing a toddler at our friends wedding while hubby was on best man duties. I didn't enjoy that every conversation I tried to have was interrupted by the need to chase after little J. I didn't enjoy being 6 months pregnant in a stuffy building during a heatwave. And I really didn't enjoy the shouts of 'mama, mama, mama, mama, mama' over and over again on the car drive home.

But I did enjoy the silly things little J does when he's tired. Like on the way home, each time he yawned he'd then start repeating "no, no.no" while shaking his head and pulling a face like he was entering a gurning competition. Hubby and I were in stitches watching him in the rear view mirror!

I enjoyed seeing how our fun loving laid back little boy got along so well with everyone he met. I enjoyed hearing people say how sweet and cheerful and helpful he is. I enjoyed doing colouring together between courses at the wedding dinner and watching him use the gravel in the car park to create his own rockery in the flowerbeds outside the church (yeah, sorry, that was our kid!). I enjoy that now no trip is complete without the boy bringing home at least one rock (even if it does drive me nuts keep finding them around the house!).

I enjoyed watching him dancing at the evening party - especially when hubby tried to join in and little J kept forcibly moving him out of the way cos he didn't want daddy stealing his limelight haha.

I enjoyed our trip to the park while hubby played football and seeing him push his boundaries and grow in skill and confidence. Quick funny story from the park: so it's almost time to go and little J asks to go on the climbing frame again but, knowing I may never reach to get him off again, I tell him no. Instead he asks to go on the roundabout and I agree telling him he can have a quick go and then it's time to leave. So on the roundabout he jumps and then beacons me to join him. On I jumped and then......little J jumped off and started pushing me. At first I thought "how sweet" - until the little monkey ran off towards the climbing frame leaving me still spinning and unable to immediately chase him! Not even 2 years old yet and already a little con artist! 

Best baby buys (and things to give a miss)

I have several friends who are pregnant for the first time and one thing they all seem to want to know is what do they REALLY need for a new baby. When our little boy was born I think we did a pretty good job of not going overboard with stuff but there were still some things we bought that weren't as useful as we thought they would be. So here's my experience of what we did and didn't need.....

Moses basket:
They say a moses basket is good for the first 3 months but despite our little one being a small baby (6 lb 4oz) he grew out of it in 2 months. For this reason I would say if you're gonna get one spend as little as possible on it. Even better just borrow one for a couple of months and only buy a new mattress.

Baby bath:
Great for the first 6 weeks but then the boy started kicking so hard he almost flew out the end! We quickly gave up on it and just took him in the bath with us. We've not bothered keeping it for baby number two. I can totally see now why mum just bathed my little brother in the kitchen sink. Instead of getting a baby bath, why not just get a spare washing up bowl that will be good for water play and other useful things once the kid outgrows it.

Baby carrier:
Great for when you want to go into town without having to fight your way through the crowds with a buggy - definitely found it massively useful. I did however end up regretting our choice of baby carrier and will be getting a different one for baby number two. We got a carrier that allows the baby to face in or out on your front but I found carrying the baby facing outwards put so much pressure on my back I had to give up on the carrier at 6 months old. Our next carrier will be one that allows back carrying as well as on my front and ideally one that allows me to breastfeed too. Also consider how easy it is to get a baby in and out and to put the carrier on without help. I would recommend going along to your local baby sling meeting to try out a few different types before you buy.

Muslins: 
Sooo useful, you can never have too many - for mopping up sick, using as a cover while breastfeeding, fashioning into a sun hat when you've lost their actual hat, makeshift nappy, spare blanket, sun shield for the buggy.....

Bibs:
We got plenty of little material bibs and have barely used any of them. It depends on how dribbly your kid is as to how useful they are. What we have found useful is the plastic wipe clean bibs, especially those with sleeves - can never have too many of these once the kid starts on solids! Great for messy arts and crafts too.

Playmat:
When they're really little there are very few toys babies will play with but a play mat is a great toy. We got one of those 'sit me up' type ones that is a playmat/ring to sit in/support for learning to sit. Seemed like a great idea ahead of time but didn't live up to expectation. We got rid of it and will be replacing it with a simpler playmat with hanging toys over - much better at keeping a newborns attention.

Bouncy chair:
We got given one and I found it quite useful for when I wanted a bath/shower or was trying to do things in the kitchen. However, I had to stop using it at around 6-8 months as the boy kept trying to escape and nearly fell on his head a few times. If we hadn't had been given one I don't think I would have missed it.

Breast pump:
Great for helping to relieve swollen boobs in the early days of breastfeeding but other than that I didn't use mine a whole lot. If you're planning on going back to work quite early on and expressing milk for the babysitter then it's well worth investing in an electric pump as the manual ones are a lot of effort. If you're only gonna express occasionally though then manual is fine. Bare in mind that though you may plan on breastfeeding it may not work out that way once baby is born so maybe keep hold of the receipt just in case!

Breast pads:
I must have spent a fortune on disposable breast pads those first few weeks. Then I discovered some reusable ones for half price and was instantly converted. I got enough for 4/5 days without needing to do laundry and saved a fortune. Just bare in mind that you need to change the pads regularly to prevent thrush.

Nursing bras:
Mothercare regularly have sales and I'm so glad I waited for their sale as I got a couple of pretty £25 bras for £5 each. For sleeping in I just got a couple of normal stretchy crop top/sports bra style bras instead of spending loads on special nursing bras. In the end I ended up abandoning my nursing bras and wearing my bedtime bras all the time as I found clipping and unclipping the nursing bras annoying - much easier to just lift up one side of my sports bra. Plus your boobs change shape and size so much during the day it was much more comfortable to wear stretchy bras that could change shape too.

I didn't bother with any special nursing clothes either. Instead I wore boob tops under baggy shirts (just lift the shirt up and pull the boob top down) or vest tops under buttoned tops/shirts (undo top buttons and lift up vest top).

Swaddle blankets:
Great for helping newborns sleep soundly as in the early days they have inbuilt reflexes that cause them to flail their arms during sleep and accidentally wake themselves up. Once they no longer need the swaddle blankets, sleeping bags are great as you know they won't kick the blanket off and get cold in the night.

Room thermometer:
Very helpful to be sure your little ones room is at a good temperature but not worth spending a fortune on. We got a simple cardboard one for a couple of pounds. Later we had a baby monitor that had one built in so it soon became obsolete and I was glad we hadn't spent much.

Nappy cream/baby wash/baby powder:
You'll get given so many freebies of this stuff that there's no need to stock up before junior is born. (I still have some samples left almost 2 years later!) However, if you see a good offer go for it.

Vests and sleepsuits:
They will go through several outfits a day for the first few months so make sure you've got plenty of vests (long sleeve for winter, short for summer) and sleepsuits. Look for styles that allow easy nappy change access as you're gonna be changing nappies A LOT!! Don't go crazy buying loads of really cute outfits as they grow out of them superfast and are just gonna poo and puke all over them. Make the most of hand me downs and charity shops.

Nappies:
You'll be going through 10-12 a day in the early days so stock up. Look out for Boots 3 for 2 offers and stockpile for later (but be aware they will grow out of the newborn size relatively quickly)

That's all I can think of for now but fellow mommas feel free to add your two cents in the comments section

Here we go again

Well I'm now 27 weeks into pregnancy number two and finally found some time to sit down and reflect on the journey. I've just been reading over my blog posts from when I was pregnant with little J and it's so funny comparing my attitudes and expectations to what actually happened.

So what is different about pregnancy second time around? Well the novelty factor isn't there this time around so symptoms that were kinda funny at first last time around are just plain annoying. This time around instead of being able to crash on the sofa and watch TV when I get home from work, I have a toddler jumping on me and wanting to play. It's much harder to get rest and look after myself this time around and I'm much more laid back about stuff too. Hubby is also much more laid back - no more being wrapped up in cotton wool this time around. (I think he's got a little too used to me acting like super woman and has now come to expect it as normal.)

How we treat baby is different this time too. Last time we were able to read stories to baby during pregnancy every night. By the time he was born we'd read him the Bible one and a half times already. This time around we've tried reading Jesus story book Bible to baby when little J goes to bed but little J doesn't like to share his Bible and instead wants to 'read' it himself (which is cute but baby can't see the pictures that little J is pointing at).

As I think about baby joining our family I hope they will know they are loved. I hope that they won't feel less loved than little J. He's been so lucky to have our full attention for so long. I wonder how he will handle having to share the attention with another little person? He's fascinated by babies at the minute and has begun being really helpful/protective towards younger kids which is cute but they're not direct competition so it may well be a different story when baby arrives!!

Parenting has been relatively easy the last few months (some tantrums and grumpy days but we all get good sleep, the boy can pretty much make his own breakfast now and there's plenty of fun, singing and charades style conversation) - I have a feeling it's going to become very challenging again soon. I have vague memories of hating the newborn phase and the extreme sleep deprivation. How will I handle that when I also have a toddler who won't allow me to go back to sleep for an hour during baby's morning nap?! And how will I handle things like sibling rivalry and trying to potty train a toddler at the same time as sleep training a newborn?? I am very aware that I am going to need a huge portion of God's grace to keep me sane!

Any of my friends with multiple kids got any advice?